The Right Way To Live

By Jessie Martin

I've noticed with the rise of social media and technology in general, that everyone seems to be either posting a countdown of how long they have to wait until their next trip or holiday OR post-trip depression and withdrawal photos saying things like "wish I was back here" and "Throw back Thursday" OR photos of them having the time of their lives ON the trip "from where you'd rather be".

It's all focused around the fact that our lives almost revolve around getaways because our daily routine lives are so draining that we would just much rather be anywhere else- and sure, everyone loves a good holiday and a nice getaway, but you can't do it all the time because you would run out of money and you have to get back to reality, right?

But... is that right...? Why can't we live like we're on holiday all the time? I would love to know what we would look forward to and how different some of us would be if we were constantly in holiday mode, and didn't have this dream trip to look forward to- if it was just a constant reality.

Shouldn't life be like that...? Shouldn't we be able to live wherever we want to live? And do whatever we want to do? Sure we need money to live luxuriously, and if we're being realistic then yes, we all have to work to get what we want, but why can't we have the best of both worlds?

Our lives have become so centred around our jobs and our careers that simple things like love, and friendships, and nature, and the world, and even the planet, are so much less important to us. 

We would rather spend money on fake tans, and teeth whitening, and expensive clothes and shoes and bags to try and impress people and look good, but for what? What are you actually gaining from spending money on that skirt that you will probably never wear, and those earrings that will probably just sit on your shelf? A very brief feeling of what you assume will be happiness, but will actually just be an illusion, and by the end of the week all you will have is the same empty feeling and a rapidly decreasing bank account to match.

Life just seems to have become such a vicious & endless cycle- you study, study, study at school, and work hard at your exams, just to go on and study more and do more exams at university, so you can get a "good" job and work even more, so that eventually when you turn 70 you can sit in a rocking chair and look out the window at some pretty trees swaying in the wind, trying to remember what it felt like to climb them... 

It is so ingrained into us that we need to create these foundations for our future when we are young and start this career and path for ourselves that can help us earn lots of money, but we have so long to figure all of that out, whats the rush? Why do we need to worry about the money we're going to want to spend in the future? People can be just as happy without a big fancy house and an equally large mortgage. People can be happy debtlessly frolicking through life, from place to place.

We don't live in the present enough, we spend so much time either stressing about the future, and what might or might not happen, or we're reminiscing on the past and "the good old days" when we had "more time" and less responsibilities. 

Whenever someone is going on a trip or holiday people are always "so jealous" and call you "lucky" but there is absolutely no reason why they can't do it too.

You may have won a trip or gotten one as a gift, in which case you are lucky! 

But usually, it's a trip that you've worked your ass off to save for so that you could have an escape and a break from your daily life, and there is nothing "lucky" about that, and they are jealous; they are jealous of the fact that you have the guts to leave it all behind for a while and spend your hard earned cash on a well deserved trip to somewhere they would kill to be.

But it really comes down to what you want out of life and what you think will make you happy. 

If you love your job, your friends, your family and your life just the way it is and the way it's going, then continue on, congrats! But if you don't, don't feel like you're trapped in some endless cycle of expectations that society has created for you to fulfil, because you definitely aren't.

If you hate your job as it is, then why not pick up something simple like bartending or barista-ing and be able to travel with it and just work in place to place as you go? 

Everyone feels like they are trapped and they have to decide what career they want to work towards, or that they have kids to look after and bills to pay- but seriously, you only live once... and I know that sounds cliche' and simple... but not enough people seem to realise it and make the most of it!

There is ALWAYS going to be plenty of time to go to university, get that degree that you think you might like but is really just your parent's idea of financial stability. 

There is always going to be time to work in a job that you hate, to get a mortgage, get married, have kids, get loans, pay bills, settle down, etc. 

But I don't understand why young people are expected to worry so much about creating their futures so early on... why aren't we encouraged to make the most of our youth and live like there's no tomorrow and seize the fucking day! CARPE FUCKING DIEM!

It takes balls, it takes boldness and it takes a shit tonne of bravery- but I IMPLORE you to drop all of it! All the materialist, consumerist and unfulfilling ways of life that you are so used to- your 9-5 desk job, your crappy on/off relationship, your superficial and expensive social life, your financially depleting cramped apartment, and even your family- who will definitely still be there when you get back- or even better- take them with you.. but if no one is willing to take the leap with you, then leap on your own... and GO! 

Stop waiting for "the right time", stop waiting for "the right person" and live your life like you have nothing to tie you down, no expectations, responsibilities and no one to look out for but yourself and those people who are truly worth it.

Take the world by storm, see everything you possibly can and just do what makes you happy- there's no time to waste on anything else.

Free Bird

I'm so sick of people telling me how to live my life.
I'm so sick of people throwing their opinions in my face when I haven't asked to hear them.
I'm so sick of people giving me what they think is "helpful advice" when really, it's not.
I'm so sick of people telling me "that's going to be hard" or "you'll regret doing that".

Firstly, when did everybody become so god damn cynical?
Why the negativity, and why the constant need to push your beliefs onto others?
I'm perfectly happy living my own life, so why can't you let me!
I feel like I've been raised in a bubble, and that I'm used to it now so I'm really going to struggle to get out of it comfortably, but I think I really need to pop it and run for the fucking hills.
& start a life of my own in those hills, and not go running back to the bubble, because I need to learn to be me, on my own, discover the world and discover who me even is, before I become this robot person that just adheres to societies expectations, working 9-5 everyday, getting married, having kids, caring about materialistic and superficial things, rather than happiness and the important stuff.

I might be naive, I know that I'm young and inexperienced and although I try to expect the worse, I probably have no clue... But that's why I think I need to see the worst, so I can appreciate the best, and gain experience and wisdom and all that jazz.
I feel like everything that I've ever once wanted in my life, I have been talked out of or told that it would be a mistake or unstable or not financially viable or that I can't do it, and thus I have given up, and that's bull shit, because now I feel so lost and so unhappy and I don't even know what I want anymore, because I can't hear myself over everyone else's opinions yelling in my face at once.
So speak up, little heart, speak up and stand up for what you need and what you want.

& I definitely DO NOT need a man to make me feel validated in life!
Sure some romance is nice and if the love of my life walks in tomorrow, I'd follow him to the ends of the earth, but until then, I have no obligations to any body, and i'm sure as hell not going to waste my time on some douchebag who thinks the sun shines out of their own asshole!
I don't owe anyone anything, I don't want to feel like I have to think about someone else when I make my decisions, because I did that for over a year and it was crappy and make me severely unhappy!
I'm sick of everyone telling me how I should feel or assuming that I do feel a certain way about things, and putting so many boundaries around me, like I'm a piece of land that needs to be fenced off so that they can shove their flag into my soil and claim me as their property.
That's what it feels like sometimes.

No thank you. I am nineteen years old, and I have the world at my feet, and my whole life ahead of me. I am in no rush to get a degree, start a career, rush into a relationship, get married, have children, or any of it. I have all the time in the world for those things later in life, but right now, I am young and I am reasonably free, so I'm going to make the most of the years that I can just focus on myself and have no baggage. I am going to go and see the world and live amongst people who I've never met and work my ass off and live life day by day. I don't need someone around to help me make decisions or to tell me how to feel about things, because how am I meant to know how I feel about things, with everyone else's opinions clouding my view?

I am young, I am free, and I am coming world; hear me roar!

Filling the Void

There's always a boy...

Why is there always a boy?

There's so many nights that I spend alone, thinking about where else I could be.
Thinking about who else I could be with, or who I could be talking to.
Or what I could be achieving ...
It seems like, even when there's someone with a genuine interest in me, it's never the someone I want it to be, and is that ungrateful or is that right?
Do I deserve someone I want, or should I settle for someone who wants me?
Should I wait around for someone who might never come along?
Of course I should, but it's killing me.
I hate that I'm so emotionally dependent on other people.
I feel like there was a time when I wasn't, but I've gotten into this seemingly irreversible cycle where I'm constantly relying on someone else to feel happy or validated.
Sometimes I just feel really sad and empty, like I could float away with the lightest of breezes.

Katy Perry once sung: "Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, sailing through the wind... ready to start again?".. & I always thought they were stupid lyrics, because who the hell compares themselves to a plastic bag? But it's actually a very relatable metaphor... I feel like I could easily be swept up and blown away because I feel this emptiness and this lightness, like I'm transparent and hollow...
& I don't know how to fill the void.
I'm hoping that travelling Europe will either fill the void for a while, and open up this creativity and happiness inside of me, or that it will help guide me to find what will fill the void!
& it's funny because, we all go searching for ourselves as if our identities are lost objects, but really they're buried deep inside of us and most of us are just too scared to look inside on our own.
Most of us are so brainwashed with societies expectations and what we think we should want and who we think we should be that we never let ourselves work on instinct anymore.
We've broken away from nature and severed our spiritual ties almost completely.
& I'm not talking about God here, I'm talking about our sense of selves.
We lost it in a chaotic mess of selfies, instant messaging, nudes, video chats, texting, and the works.

So maybe if I force myself to go and live somewhere where I have no financial stability, I'm out of my comfort zone and I'm completely surrounded by nature and semi-cut off from the technological world, I will finally be able to find what I need to fill the void.